£27,000 is the current average cost of a wedding in the UK. I could raise questions about the morality of spending such a sum on the big day, but I'm more concerned about those couples who have very little to spend and who feel they've got to reach some benchmark of acceptability for the standard of their wedding. I have ministered in cultures where the cost of a daughter's wedding is enough to put the parents into years of serious debt rather than allow themselves to be charged with doing it on the cheap. I've sometimes felt that there is a danger that Christian couples also begin to ape the world with very extravagant ideas for the wedding day. We often hear about preparing for the wedding day, but that's what it is - one day - yes, absolutely a very important day, but still only one day. It's far more important to prepare for the marriage which is going to last for a lifetime. I don't want to convey the idea that we simply do it as cheaply as we can for the sake of it but I have sometimes wondered whether the note of celebration has been over-ridden by the idea of extravaganza.
I think celebration should be the main concern and surely for Christian Believers we know how to do that.
So, the wedding dress is very important for the Bride but I know that these days you can buy one on the internet for less than a tankful of petrol and they, or at least the Bride in one, can look totally stunning.
Why do we need a parade of 6 bridesmaids throwing rose petals around as they walk in at carefully timed intervals? Nothing wrong with it, but you can manage with one bridesmaid who will take the bouquet and be generally helpful.
We had quite a fancy photograph album from our wedding over 50 years ago. A nice souvenir but to be honest we've hardly ever looked at it. Mobile phones will take quality photos these days and you can select from the hundreds of such photos that will probably be available and print a couple of great pictures that you might look at. Apart from which this avoids guests hanging around for hours for the 'official photos'. (I have it on good authority there will be no photos at the Wedding Supper of the Lamb)
You probably want a glass of bubbly to toast the happy couple, but beyond that, Christian celebrations don't need more than soft drinks to be very happy times of fun, family, friendship and laughter. Get someone to mention to the Elders how great it would be to bless this couple in the church with some soft drinks and they might cough up the funds to buy a few crates.
We've all been to very formal marriage suppers where we sit with people we don't know while working our way through an expensive 4 course meal which you realise, because it's a wedding, the relevant parents (probably) are having to pay an extortionate amount per head. Have a hog roast, get some friends to bring salads, buy some buns, make it a wander around, build your own burger, sit where you like, talk to who you want to event, and generally have a good time.
And for dessert have a decent slice of a 3 layered sponge cake - each layer a different flavour to increase choice, which also doubles as a very reasonably priced wedding cake and avoids silly small bits of fruit cake being dropped over the floor followed by icing down the nice clothes you're wearing.
Most wedding speeches are endured. The Best Man usually embarrasses everyone with unfortunate anecdotes. A simple toast will do followed by one sentence from the Bridegroom who can say thank you to everyone for coming. These speeches will be accepted by the assembled guests as the best they've ever heard, and they will really mean it.
Have some tables with colouring books and crayons to entertain the children. Play some music, have a little jig around. Kiss the Bride and go home happy after a great celebration which everyone has tremendously enjoyed and has cost very little.
You've guessed it - I went to this wedding at Gateway Church in Poole last Saturday - a real celebration and an absolute joy to be there.