A couple of weeks ago I published a blog headed Memories of India which recounted some of my adventures in that amazing country. It attracted well under half my usual number of readers. A few days later I tweeted about the conflict I feel following the tragic fire at Notre Dame. Yes, I really want to see it rebuilt but at the same time I felt almost appalled at the vast sum of money donated to a building, so quickly, when there is so much human need which seems to attract nothing like that kind of money. That particular tweet was responded to by more people than almost any other tweet I've made in the several years that I've had a twitter account. It made me ponder the effect of the right or wrong heading to what one writes but also made me realise that many people do feel very strongly about human need and clearly my tweet had touched a chord on this. But it also made me think again about church buildings altogether and once more I feel so conflicted.
Why do I want to see Notre Dame rebuilt? After all it's a Roman Catholic Cathedral and I'm a staunch evangelical Protestant. Certainly there is something I feel about the beauty of the building and also the way that it seems somehow to symbolise the wonderful city of Paris and even the whole country of France. As many have suggested Notre Dame seems to be more than just a Cathedral although 'just a Cathedral' could be all it needs to be for a Christian Believer - another feeling of conflict here. I think also, although it is a Roman Catholic building it does speak to me of Christian faith and the way that past generations have wanted to build something that represents the majesty of God. And again how many Christians of all denominations and viewpoints have prayed in that building over the centuries; which speaks of faith and not just a building?
Over the last 30 years I've been part of two churches that have raised millions of pounds in order to construct new buildings. In proportion I and the members of these churches may have given vastly more to these building projects than the average amount that faithful French Catholics give to the rebuilding of Notre Dame. I'm sure this could never be proved but French Catholics might end up giving more to help human need that they give to Notre Dame whereas I might have been part of churches that have given more to the building fund than they have to human need. I can make out some good arguments for building funds. They can teach Believers about giving, how to be sacrifical in giving, how to trust God and find he wonderfully provides as we give. I've seen all of this. I can also point out that our buildings serve as bases for evangelism, mission and provide help and sometimes even accommodation for the needs of the poor in our communities. And there is real truth in that. At the same time I'm aware that I can raise questions about donations to the building which is called Notre Dame and yet may have done more myself together with these two churches to raise a new building above concerns for the poor and exploited of our communities. Again I feel the inner conflict.
Today I look at the horrific pictures of blood stained ruined Church buildings in Sri Lanka with the toll of those killed still mounting and realise that these Believers were targeted so easily, simply because they were in recognisable Christian buildings.
These brief reflections are not meant to condemn, argue against others or make anyone feel guilty. They are simply an account of my own inner conflicts. I once read a statement by Dr Lloyd-Jones in which he said that he believed on the Day of Judgement the question we might all have to face would be about how little we have cared. I find myself pondering that again right now. Buildings surely seem to have their place, but at what cost in the light of human need and suffering? It's question I for one find so hard to answer.
In the picture of a fire scarred Notre Dame we see an empty Cross has survived - being empty it seems to stand as a symbol of hope and Resurrection and therefore of the fact that there are answers to my conflicts.